I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
