To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
