Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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