sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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