i think my mom watched the whole time
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
