You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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