she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
