So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
