Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
