Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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