I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
