I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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