I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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