Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
