Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
