I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
