wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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