I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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