I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
