we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
my liver is dry heaving
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