One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
