party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You're a disaster
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