i would punch a child for taco bell
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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