Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
