The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
