SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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