wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
