we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
