I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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