never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
