We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
