You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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