Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
