Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
