I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
