Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You are a genius and a whore.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
