Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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