yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
