Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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