After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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