Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
