ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
