did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
