i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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