I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
