I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
