He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
