would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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