I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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