He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
