I'm passing your future prison.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
